Let me begin by saying that having a home birth was by far the most difficult and challenging thing I have ever done; however, I know that if we had been in the hospital, Grayson would be have been born with the help of forceps and he would have potentially suffered damage because of this. I am so grateful that I was healthy enough for a home birth and that Grayson was born without difficulty.
I was 3 days past my estimated due date and feeling incredibly pregnant and ready to meet the newest member of our family. Since it was Spring Break, we had been trying to do something new everyday and we were trying to stay very active in an attempt to bring on labor. On Wednesday March 28, we went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. While we were walking around the museum, I was very uncomfortable and had to take a lot of breaks. I knew that I felt different, but I figured it was just exhaustion. We got home from the museum around 8pm and watched a couple episodes of “How I Met Your Mother.” At around 10pm we went to bed. I fell asleep immediately, but Ben stayed up watching a movie. At about midnight, Ben turned off his light and I got up to use the restroom. Just 15 minutes later I felt a trickle of liquid and thought I must have peed my pants, but then the small trickle became a gush of liquid and knew that my water had broken. I started to get out of bed and I told Ben that my water had broken. I felt a little overwhelmed because I always thought that I would have contractions prior to my water breaking. I got up and went into the bathroom so that Ben could clean up the bed and get everything ready. I called Jan, our midwife, and told her that my water had broken, but that I wasn’t having any contractions. She suggested that I try to get some more sleep because things would probably be getting started pretty soon. Of course I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to rest, so I watched a few more episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” in bed.
At about 12:45, I started having contractions. Ben was trying to sleep so I didn’t want to disturb him; instead I started timing the contractions myself. They were about 7 minutes apart and the painful portion was about 30 seconds long. I felt everything in my back and I had a very hard time getting comfortable. Sometime after 1am, Ben woke up and he called Jan since things seemed to be moving pretty quickly. The contractions had become too intense to ignore, so I was spending my time laboring on the birth ball and in standing positions. All of my labor was still in my back and I had a hard time getting any relief. Ben was very helpful by pressing on my back and using some hot and cold to bring relief. Ben also made me a smoothie so that I could stay nourished for the long journey ahead. At about 3:40 am, we texted Mary so that she could head down. I also got into the bathtub and I immediately felt better. Ben was great! He was still doing counter pressure and making sure that I was staying hydrated. I remember this part of labor was kind of “fun” because I could still laugh and talk between contractions. At about 4:30, Mary arrived and gave Ben a little time to get everything ready for the birth pool. Mary did a great job of making sure that the environment was very relaxing and she made sure to document the event in pictures and video.
Around 5:30, Jan arrived because my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and the painful portion was between 45 seconds and 1 minute. When Jan came I was laboring hands and knees using the birth ball. Ben and Mary were taking turns providing counter pressure and I was starting to struggle more and more through every contractions. Between contractions it was difficult to come out of my primitive brain. When Jan came she was able to check me and listen to the baby. I was so worried about the baby that I felt overwhelming joy and relief upon hearing the heartbeat. When Jan checked me I was terrified that she was going to tell me I was only 3 centimeters. The contractions were so intense and I didn’t know how long I would be able to labor in this way. Thankfully, I was 8 centimeters and 95% effaced. After that I felt relieved and anxious for things to move along. I definitely tried a few more positions and tried to stay active so that labor would continue to move quickly. Around 5:30, my mom also came and she was able to help Ben with counter pressure and providing some much needed encouragement. Mom and Ben made a great team. With Mary’s encouragement and guidance they helped me through each contraction. At 7 am, the pool was finally ready and I was able to get in. The pool felt great for those contractions and it provided some comfort to rest in between contractions. Eventually Ben got in the pool with me and we spent most of the rest of my labor in the pool. Around 9 am, Mary urged me to get up and use the bathroom. I hated having contractions on the toilet because they were so intense, but I also knew that it would help my labor to progress if I emptied my bladder. When I was on the toilet I suddenly felt the urge to push. Jan encouraged me to listen to my body and I did a few pushes while on the toilet. The urge to push was not yet overwhelming and there were some contractions where I did not push at all; however, as the hour progressed the urge became more intense and my contractions became more intense.
For the next 45 minutes I pushed. I remember that these contractions were especially intense and that it was during this time I felt exhausted and began to doubt my abilities. Between contractions I was aware of my surroundings but I also felt disconnected from everything that was going on around me. The last 4 pushes were especially intense and I felt like my whole body was being ripped into 2. Somewhere around this time, Mary told me to look at her and she reminded me that this was the self doubt sign post and it meant that my baby was close. This was also the time where baby’s head started to show and I was able to reach down and feel baby’s head coming out. Everyone kept commenting on his dark hair. After my 2nd to last push, Jan listened to the heartbeat and it was in the 70’s. I knew that the baby was in trouble and I was very worried, I was also very tired and felt like I couldn’t continue. Jan looked at me and told me that I needed to get baby out on this next push. When I told her that I could not do it, she said that I would do it. I had a nice long break between my final 2 contractions and whenI finally felt the urge to push, I did it with all of my might. Jan had to remind me to hold my breath so that I could get baby out. Finally, Jan told me to reach down and grab my baby. I distinctly remembering the feeling of his shoulders coming out and the way that he looked floating in the water. I reached down into the water and pulled him onto my chest. Immediately he started crying! He seemed very mad, but calmed down quickly once he was on my chest. Through those final contractions, Ben had been sitting behind me supporting me so he wasn’t able to catch the baby, but I was! At 9:53 am, our little man made his entrance into the world. I remember noticing that he was a boy when I pulled him out of the water and I commented that he was a boy. Once he was out, we were all commenting on how much hair he had and all of the funny faces he was making. He started pushing his lip out and making pouty faces! About 5 minutes after he was born, Grayson opened his eyes and looked at Ben and I for the first time. At about 10 am, Susan arrived and was able to meet him when he was only a few minutes in the world.
At about 10:15, Jan asked me if I could stand up and go into the bedroom so that he could be bundled up. When I was standing up, I felt an immense amount of pressure between my legs and as soon as I stepped out of the pool, my placenta fell out. I remember feeling so much relief as it fell out. My total labor was only 9 hours and I pushed for only 45 minutes. I had a 2nd degree internal tear, but it did not require any stitches. Although natural labor was the most difficult thing I have ever done, I would not trade it for the world. Grayson was born without any intervention and it affirmed in me that I can be a mother because I had already done the most difficult thing.
