Giving Birth in Modern America

As many of you know, Ben and I are expecting our first baby. I have always known that I wanted to have a homebirth, but it took some time for me to convince Ben that this was not only safe but the best option for us and our baby. Being pregnant, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on the birth experience and how I want it to look for us.

In America, the process of birth has become a thing to fear. Women enter their pregnancies thinking that childbirth will be the most painful thing in the world and the best thing to do is avoid the pain by undergoing intervention; unfortunately, it is often the intervention that intensifies the pain of childbirth and causes the excessive measures that we see in America more than any other developed nation. In America, 1 in 3 women has a cesarean. This is much higher than the rate in other developed nations where most women see a midwife for their birth unless there are complications. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that there are OB's to assist when a birth does become complicated or when there is danger to the mother or baby.

For me, this birth is a rite of passage. An opportunity for me to join the ranks of women who have labored for hours or days and become stronger better women because they put in the work and persevered through the difficulty to finally become mothers. I know that when I hold this beautiful baby in my arms it will because I did everything that I could to love and cherish this baby into being. If something goes wrong and if it is deemed necessary, I will go to the hospital and allow doctors to do what they do best. I believe in my body. I believe that as a woman, my body was created to do this job and that this job is a process designed to help me become a better mother. I have made the choice to take control of my birth experience and to trust in my body and in my faith.

Tired of renovating... Whose idea was this anyway... Oh yeah, mine.

Quick Update

I have to say that life has been a little crazy, but never to crazy to give just a little Knighten update.

First of all, we are rounding out the end of a crazy and interesting school year. Ben has only 3 more weeks and I have only 4 more weeks. We are looking forward to starting the summer and having a great year under our belts.

We have also begun a little home renovation project. When we first begin, it always seems daunting, but I know that we will really enjoy the changes once we are finished. This summer we will be putting wood floors on the main level of our townhome and we will be completely remodeling the 1/2 bath. I always think these projects will be easier than they are, but Ben keeps me realistic and tells me when I am being pig headed.

Ben's music has really taken off and we are excited about the excellent review that he recently received. The dream is that Ben will hit it big, but if not it is fun to hang out at new places and Ben really loves to share his music.

For the summer, we don't have any major plans (at least not like last summer), but we will be traveling to Arkansas to visit Ben's grandparents and we are hoping to revisit some of our honeymoon spots on a trip out to DC and perhaps Virginia.

Ben and I have felt truly blessed this past year and while things were difficult through this past year, we have persevered and our marriage is stronger than ever. Hopefully we will get to see many of you soon and hear about your lives.

If the door is locked, we will break in through the windows. If anyone forbids us to approach the table, we will overturn it and serve communion on the floor. If any priest tells us we cannot sing this new song, we will sing it louder, invite others to sing it with us, and raise our voices in unison across all the boundaries of human contrivance- until this joyful chorus is heard in every corner of the world, and the church itself is raised from the dead.

~ Saving Jesus From the Church by Robin R. Meyers

I believe in being honest about life and not sugar coating the realities of this world, and my reality is that teaching is HARD. When I was watching teachers as a kid or even when I was student teaching, I had no idea of the realities that exist for teachers. The responsibility and weight of each child's education weighs heavily on the hearts of teachers every single day.

Today, I felt like a bad teacher. Sometimes, I can't fix things. I can't make kids chill out and I can't make kids stop melting down. I feel like, as a special education teacher, there is a certain idea that I have a more in-depth knowledge of students and their behavior. Of course I understand kids on a different level, but I still can't always find the magic words to make it all better.

Basically, I felt like a failure today because I could not work the magic and I could not fix all the problems.

Tomorrow will be better.

I will remember why I love teaching.

My kids will remember why they love me.

It will all be good.

And if not, Spring Break is in 2 days.

Exciting news! Ben's CD has gone to production and will be ready soon.

In other news, Ben and I are enjoying our jobs this year and as things settle down we are reflecting on how far our students have come in such a short time. We are also looking forward to a trip to L.A. to visit friends. Having never been to L.A. I am looking forward to seeing a new place.

Life is certainly busy, but we are enjoying every minute of it.

Solo Gig

Last night, Ben played his first solo show at Pikes Perk in Colorado Springs. What an amazing show and how honored I was to have so many people from our lives attend and support us. Here are some videos from Ben's performance.

What it Can Be


All I Want


The Open Door


Away


Breaking Free


Love is Unstoppable


Tell Me Without Words


Hope you enjoyed these! Ben has really loved pursuing his musical passions and we are excited to keep you all informed as he continues to expand his talent and grow as an artist.