Today I was driving along and considering my life as it stands now... we are wealthy!
Please know that Ben and I do not live in the "lap of luxury" and in fact have been struggling greatly but at the same time, we still have plenty to eat, we have hot water, and electricity...
Enter Guilt!
I feel guilty for the way that I live my life. On one hand we are so blessed and I am so thankful, on the other hand I find myself hating our livelihood. I hate that we do not have to worry about money and food when the majority of the world lives in moderate to extreme poverty.
I feel like this guilt is the punishment for the way that we live and for the knowledge of reality. I cannot live my life without knowing that there are people who cannot live their lives. Maybe my selfish reason for going to Africa is so that I can stop feeling guilty, guilty that I was lucky enough to be born in America to a middle class white family...
I suppose that for the time being I will simply embrace the guilt and hope that it is part of the fire that refines me!
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