Can I Make A Difference?

I want thinking today about some of the kiddos that I work with and my heart broke!

The lives that these children have lived are so far beyond anything that I can fathom... abuse, neglect, continuing abuse, continuing neglect... I cannot fathom their lives and I cannot change them either.

I cannot hold these kids while they cry, I can't tell them that it is going to be okay because the truth is that it may not be. These children may never have the life that I want to give my children, they may never know the love of their parents or the love of themselves. Everyday when I deal with a tantrum or worse I realize that this is not a result of their "disability" but a result of their circumstances. When I hear their stories and watch their anger boil out of control I cannot understand this world that we live in.

Each time I consider their lives I also consider my own children... I sometimes feel like it would be selfish of me to have my own children when there are so many children in their world whose lives are just like the lives of these kiddos. How can I bring more lives into the world and shower my love on them when there are so many who have no love to speak of. How can I best change the lives of the kids and kids in the future?

How can I change the world? How can I love like Jesus loved when they are screaming in my face? I want to change the world... will I ever be able to do that?