I love weekends.
I love sleeping in, and watching my husband make breakfast, I love hot coffee and good book in my PJ's.
While it is not my favorite part, I do get to look back on the week and recall each day.
Weeks like this last one, I would just assume forget, but really I learned alot about each of my students.
I learned that when your home life is hell, you would rather throw things then go back to it, I learned that these kids don't trust because they have never been able to rely on any adults in their lives.
I learned that no matter how much I want to, I can only help them at school and to be frank I do not want to take any of them home with me.
My understanding of the world is so narrow, my experience is just a sliver of what the world is really made up of.
It makes me wonder at God's purpose for all of this, giving my kids hope is one thing when they are safe at school, it is another when they are at home and nothing is certain, it is another thing in their memories and childhoods.
My hope is that God meant for the world to be redeemed and so even though I cannot change the world, perhaps I can change my own heart to reflect his love into the hearts of our future. From where I sit, things look pretty dim, it is up to me to be the light.
I love these kids despite our bad days, I love them because of their sweet hearts and innocent abandon. I think they love me, even though they have made every effort not to, and I think when I come into work every Monday they trust me a little more because the week before did not phase me.
I will walk in on Monday and I WILL smile and I WILL say "good morning" because me weekend was a heck of a lot better then theirs.